An Interview with Christine Hohlbaum by Allyn Evans

Subject: Christine Hohlbaum, Author of Diary of a Mother and SAHM I AM: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe (May 2005)

Christine Hohlbaum has a BA in political science from Smith College and a combined MA in International Relations, German and English Literature from the University of Constance, Germany. Her parenting and humor articles have been published in hundreds of publications. Christine shares: “Most of my first book, Diary of a Mother, was written in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot while listening to my son snore in the backseat.” With her newest book SAHM: I Am coming out in May 2005, Christine’s fans are eager to read her next offering.

1. What inspired you to be a writer?
I went from being an Ivy educated career women to a full-time stay-at-home mom. That was a huge shift for me. Before I changed jobs, I would go to work, be respected, and have regular manicures. Once there, I would work uninterrupted for hours. And then, I had two children under the age of three. I coped by writing—journaling about the situation.

On one particular day, I had a really funny experience while at the doctor’s office. I had to tow my two children along even though I had hoped to get a babysitter. So, I had this experience, and it made me laugh so hard. I decided to share this story with my friends and family. And while writing about the occurrence, I recognized how healing it was for me. After telling my stories, I realized writing about my life, my children, made me feel normal again. I sent out the first story to about 20 of my friends and family. The response was overwhelming. People were so supportive. I was getting acknowledged for what was happening to me. They were telling me, “I want to hear more, I want to hear more because it’s so funny.” Encouraged, I continued to write. Soon, I started to be proactive. I started looking for story ideas. And the next thing I knew, I had a manuscript. A turning point for me involved a conversation I had with a friend at a Starbucks. I remember she had published three books, which I thought was amazing because we were in similar situations. We both had two children the same age; our babies even shared the same birth date. This opportunistic meeting and then my two children—my muses—are what inspired me to do this.

2. What obstacles did you face, and how did you overcome them?
The major obstacle I faced in writing my book was not the actual writing itself, but the fact that my husband lost his job during the process. We were in Boston. I was enjoying being a stay-at-home Mom. I wrote the majority of my book in the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot in Metford, Massachusetts three mornings a week. It was the only store that had a drive-through where you actually could get a good cup of coffee. After dropping my daughter off at morning pre-school, I would drive five or six urban miles to my favorite spot. I would sit there and write stories while drinking my coffee and listening to my son snore in the backseat. I had that rhythm going for a while until my husband lost his job with a biotech firm in Cambridge. And that was a very upsetting and surprising experience. It happened within 90 minutes. My husband was told at a 10:30 a.m. meeting that he had to be packed and out of his office by noon. We only had one computer at the time, and my husband spent 12 hours a day looking for a new job. Of course, we were in no position to purchase a second computer. We were in dire straits. Financially, it was getting to be pretty hairy if we didn’t get something soon. I ended up taking a part-time job at a German language school in Cambridge. The roles reversed. I put myself back in the work world, and he stayed home with the kids. During that time, I couldn’t really do anything towards the book.

Finally, my husband’s job search paid off, and his next opportunity led us back to Germany. One of my favorite chapters in my first book, Diary of a Mother, is titled Getting to D. It moves me still. It’s been two years since I wrote it, but it still moves me. The story shares my feelings about moving from Boston to Germany. I really didn’t want to move. My entire family, including my parents, was back in the U.S. again. I’m fluent in German. I have a German husband. I studied German. My kids spoke German. All of that was not a problem. I simply didn’t want to move back to Germany. While I wrote that chapter, I came to peace with what happened. The move was tremendously difficult. For example, we didn’t receive our shipment of furniture and belongings for ten weeks. We also didn’t have a car for that long. I didn’t know a soul. We lived this way with our two kids for ten weeks. After that experience, I realized I could do anything. By golly, I could even market my book even if I did live in Germany and was sitting on plastic patio furniture borrowed from a new friend. The first thing I did was buy a computer.

For my first book, I selected a print-on-demand company. First and foremost, I wanted to become a writer and publish a book. And so I didn’t care how or who did it. I didn’t know anything about publishing. But I did know that if I slapped down a certain amount of money, they would do it for me. So I didn’t look for a traditional publisher; I simply took a recommendation from my Starbucks friend. Within months, I finished the book and sent it off. The publisher had it printed and ready to go within 90 days.

Initially, I wanted to sell 10 books. But after I sold 10 books, I wanted to sell more. Then I started promoting it—securing radio and media coverage for my book. Before I knew it, I had a full-time job. In the beginning, I learned so much about what NOT to do. I made so many mistakes. Of course, that brings me to another major obstacle I faced. Sending out press materials from Germany was expensive. It cost around $15 to mail materials, and that’s not even considering what it cost to print the stuff. But as I went through this process of learning, I honed my skills, and now I really understand how to market and promote my book and myself. And it’s great fun.

3. What would you say to the “you” that’s about to start the process of writing?
First, I would tell myself it’s important to have a mission statement. Clearly understanding what you are trying to do or accomplish is key. Of course, I love it when I make money, but it’s not my primary reason for doing what I do. Another important lesson I would share is not to be attached to the outcome. Everything happens for a reason. It’s important to realize that life is going to take you where it is going to take you. Recently, I watched the movie Monster. In the movie, the lead character is a prostitute and serial killer. The story is so heartbreaking. She repeatedly says the mantras I believe: “Things happen for a reason,” and “Anything is possible.” But the woman portrayed in the story had reached such depths of despair that she no longer believed in those things. My skin crawled from the inside out watching this movie because it totally denounced all the things I believed in. And it so frightening that this woman could go to this level of desperation. With all that said and despite the message of the movie, I do believe that anything is possible. And if you are willing to step forward and take action, you can accomplish your dreams. Remain focused. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you do these things, you can achieve greatness. I truly believe that.

4. What does it feel like to be actively pursuing work that inspires you?
Super! Although, not all purposefully arranged, I have created a life that is filled with activities and projects I love and enjoy. Everything I am doing feeds into each other. So if you were to look at my life and all the things I have set before me, it’s a very holistic circle. For example, when I am teaching an intensive English language course, it naturally follows that I talk about my book. We discuss the book, and then my students go buy it. This flow creates a beautiful tapestry, which makes me feel unstoppable.

5. What advice do you have for women interested in pursuing their dreams?
Be persistent and continue to persevere. Recently, I read Jack Canfield’s Success Principles. In the book, he claimed that most people give up when they are 90% on the way to reaching their dream. Personally, I would hate to think that I was almost there and just missed it because I wasn’t able to continue.

To writers, I challenge you to accept that you have a message to share. And who are you to give up on that message and not deliver it to the world. If you take it outside of the context of yourself and instead focus on the message, you will realize you simply have something to share with other people. It’s hope begetting hope. It’s not about the writer. My writing or promoting isn’t about drawing attention to myself. It’s about the woman who was at the end of her rope who wrote to me and said, “Thank you for making me laugh today.” It’s about that. It’s not about my kids, or me, even. It’s about making people feel that they are not alone in their struggles. It’s about remaining authentic and then sharing that with others.

Christine Louise Hohlbaum, award-winning American writer and author of Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff (2003) and SAHM I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe (2005), has been published in hundreds of publications. She has a BA from Smith College in Political Science and German Literature. When she isn't writing, leading seminars, or wiping up messes, she prefers to frolic in the Bavarian countryside with her husband and two children. She invites readers to visit her Web site at http://www.DiaryofaMother.com for more of her writing.

Allyn Mitchell Evans, author of Catch Your Dream: And, Live It!, founded QueenPower.com, a dynamic website for women. Published in a variety of on-line and print publications, Evans writes essays and articles for and about women. Inspired by the Queen archetype, she created a supportive on-line community while completing her latest book, Grab the Queen Power: Live Your Best Life! Queen Power is scheduled for release in June 2005. When she isn't writing or managing the website, Evans prefers spending time with her husband and eight-year-old daughter. She invites readers to stop by: www.queenpower.com.

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