The Keys to Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is just as much about your attitude as it is your child’s attitude. Effective parenting allows you to parent your children in such a way that you both nurture and love them, but you are also able to get the results that you desire from your children.

Your Children Are Watching You
Children learn from watching their parents and they will begin to emulate the same behaviors that you present when you come home from work or get up in the morning. Your children are like little sponges and they are soaking up all the information they learn from you. It can be painful for some parents when they realize that they’re own behaviors are actually the reason for their children’s bad behaviors.

Don’t Feed the Bad Behaviors
The key to effective parenting is to stop giving attention to the behaviors that you don’t want. The more attention that you give to them, the more prevalent the bad behavior will become. For example, if your son refuses to do his homework when you come home, then you have to accept that that is what he is going to do. However, you can structure his time, toys and extracurricular activities. If your son refuses to do his work, then he cannot play either. He will have to eat dinner and go to bed without doing his homework and without playing on the computer.

Structure and discipline, developed and communicated with love work well to help children know what you expect from them as their parent.

If your child has a bad attitude, whines and back talks then you need to assess how you are interacting with your child. If you are mad, whining and yelling at your spouse, then your child is soaking up this bad behavior from you. You must get all of this anger out before you get home, but you should not display it in front of your children. You can’t escape the behaviors that you model.

Use Small Bits of Praise Consistently
Once you have this down, then you want to start introducing little prizes such as “thumbs ups” and a pat on the back. You want these affirmations to be small but numerous. When you come home and you see your child at the kitchen table doing his homework, then you want to give him a pat on the back and may be a little after school snack. Thank them at dinner for making their bed without being asked or cleaning up their room on their own. Actively seeking out these moments is a key part in active parenting.

All Children Need Limits
Remember that all children need limits, but you must be consistent. Discipline is necessary and you need to set limits with your children. All children will test limits, so you have to be a wall when it comes to the limits that you have set. Establish rules and a daily work plan for your children. When they are done with their work then they can play. As you establish rules for your children you will be able to provide more confident parenting because of the rules and limits that are in place.

Not every parent is perfect and it is impossible to be perfect. As your children age they will look more to their peers as role models and less to you. It is imperative that you provide them guidance, encouragement and discipline throughout your child’s life.

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